How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire
(Love At Stake #1) by Kerrelyn Sparks
HarperCollins (2011) | Audiobook: 11h 35m
Narrator: Suzanne Cypress | Paranormal Romance
How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire is quite a mixed book. On one hand there are some very funny scenes that had me chuckling away, even if at times it border-lined on the silly. It is also compromised of some fantastic characters. Aside from our two main characters, you have a security team made up of highlander (yes all in kilts), vampires. Gregori, Roman’s head of marketing and his mother to name just a few. And Sparks characterisation itself is great. But there were also quite a few things wrong with it for me.
The story is around dentist Shanna Whelan who is in the Witness Protection Programme on the run from the Russian Mafia. Shanna also has a phobia of blood. Vampire Roman had a bit of an ‘accident’ biting something he should have (I won’t spoil it for you as it’s quite funny), and needs a dentist asap before he heals fangless.
Roman happens to turn up at Shanna’s surgery just in time to rescue her from a mob hit and saves her life. Then discovers a big problem, he can’t use mind control on her. So with her life on the line and the threat of being a one-fanged vampire, Roman takes her under his protection.
The vampire world Sparks has created his hilarious, from vampire cuisine blood, vampire tv, the fact that all vampires are not suave, brave and gorgeous, but geeky, scared, and as flawed as humans. It’s a comedy as much as it’s a romance. Roman is a great character, the handsome, wounded vampire genius. And Shanna is gutsy and brave, if a touch annoying at times.
But there were things that did not work for me. Firstly, the author does seem to have a fascination with the phrase ‘God’s Blood’. At one stage I decided to try and count how many times it was used is one chapter, and then quite frankly gave up. It’s almost every paragraph and I did get to the stage that it seriously, seriously irritated me.
Another part of the plot I really disliked, was the concept of vampire mind sex. I’ve mentioned before how I particularly dislike the consummation of a relationship via a dream sequence, but this seemed even worse. The ability to have sex with multiple partners all at the same time, was a bit grim really. There was a course a scene of vampire mind sex between Shanna and Roman, and one stage he had about ten pairs of hands on her in intimate places, which came across as a bit creepy rather than sexy. Also, don’t get me started on Roman’s harem (yes he had one)…
The plot itself is a bit of a jumble and seemed to dot all over the place, and branch off into all sorts of different areas, trying to fit in too many things for one novel. Almost as though the author had too many ideas and perhaps should have kept some back for the next book.
The audiobook was narrated by Suzanne Cypress, who was a great narrator. Creating different tones, voices and even convincing Scottish accents for each of the characters.
How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire is the first book in an eleven book series, so I can only imagine that the author’s writing gets tighter and these issues get smoothed out. It certainly has a lot of potential as a series, Sparks’ characterisation and humour really do make this book, and despite the few flaws it’s an amusing and entertaining read.
BOOKS IN SERIES ORDER
- How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire
- Vamps and the City
- Be Still My Vampire Heart
- The Undead Next Door
- All I Want for Christmas is a Vampire
- Secret Life of a Vampire
- Forbidden Nights with a Vampire
- The Vampire and the Virgin
- Eat, Prey, Love
- Vampire Mine
- Sexiest Vampire Alive
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