Book Borrowing Etiquette and the Hidden Dangers!
“Thoughtful Ramblings” is a feature where we discuss bookish subjects. These posts are just our own thoughts about certain topics that may get us hot under the collar and we need a good rant or just things we want to share with fellow bloggers and readers.
Book Borrowing Etiquette and the Hidden Dangers!
If you’re like me, you’ll probably agree that books are beautiful, beautiful things. You may even have some on your bookshelves that you’re not ‘allowed’ to read. Maybe an author signed copy or a special edition, like my lovely leather bound omnibus of Jane Austen’s novels, which I only allow myself to carefully flick through.
But, if you love books there’s also the joy of lending a book to someone that you just know they’ll love. Waiting in anticipation for them to reach the end so you can talk to them about it.
But book lending also comes with hidden dangers….!
Yes I’m speaking of book damage! You know the terrible injuries your books can endure at the hands of another!
I’m sure you all know the horrors of which I speak:
- Folded page corners – because they couldn’t find a bookmark *shudder*
- Creased pages that got neglected and crumpled in a bag *wimper*
- Ripped pages *frantically looks for Sellotape*
- Pages coming away from the spine – the injury from which there is no return, the book is ready for book recycling heaven *sob*
- Writing – the only person allowed to makes notes on a book, surely is the book’s owner? *gets out eraser*
- Or… spilt drink or liquid on your book leaving it looking like some sort of forlorn xylophone *weeps*
- My worst injury to date, orange juice, yes orange juice spilt all over those lovely crisp pages! Changing them to an interesting day-glo colour.
I do love sharing and swapping books with others and this is one of the downsides I have found of ereaders. But it never fails to frustrate me when books come back in a very sad condition.
I don’t think all books should remain immaculate, there is something lovely about a well cared for, but obviously well read book. I did an English degree and my edition of ‘Wuthering Heights’s is filled with lots of careful (in pencil only) notes, which I enjoy re-reading to see what I was thinking & studying at the time. Books are meant to be read and loved, but respected too!
So how about you, what’s your worst book injury? Do you refuse to lend books to people for this reason? Or do you think I’m being far too precious about a simple book?
24 Comments
This is why eReaders are the way to go. You can't lend the readers themselves, so they don't get damaged, and if you do book lending via something like Kindle or Nook there's a time limit.
Obviously this isn't perfect, especially if you prefer dead-tree books. But if you keep your collection at say half-and-half you're still saving yourself a lot of trouble.
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I have definately had some bad things happen to books I've lent out and it's because of that I no longer lend out books I had one person who besides having my books for months (another pet peeve) thay had somehow managed to bend my paperback book cover in half so it has a very noticable vertical crease down the front cover, another thing I hate are spines all creased some of them came back like I'd had them for years and I didn't even get any apologies.
My theory is return it looking the same as when you borrowed it.
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Sorry but I wouldn't consider lending my books. I am very meticulous and protective of them, I manage to read 500 page long books without creasing the spine, so if I got back my book in such a state, I would be angry and would want a new one. I tried at first, but it was torture watching how my mom handled my beloved books (even though that she's not the worst). So I stick to recommending and gifting books, and keeping mine at home in safety.
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I used to be so funny about cracked spines. I would reads my books careful and have virtually no cracks and I can remember one particular family member not even asking, just taking a book off my shelf and cracking the spine with relish. Talk about shriek! Am not so bad now because the majority of my books are bought second hand so they are already broken (poor things)
My Mum got so fed up of people borrowing her books and dvd's and then not returning them that she started a lenders book and people would go down in her book the day they took it and if it got a bit long out would come the book and item demanded back
Orange juice though? Seriously? And they had the cheek to give it back? I'd have had to buy you a new one! The shame!
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I don't even loan out books any more, unless I'm willing to go out and buy myself another copy. I used to loan my sister and her daughter some of my books – until I found them in a giveaway bag in her garage…Really! jut ready to give away MY books. So now, if I'm willing to lose a book, I'll loan it out.
I used to be very particular about even my paperbacks but since I have grandchildren (and a puppy that loved one of my books) I've learned that if I leave my books laying around, they're going to get creased covers and bent pages. Which is also why I don't like to borrow books from others – I don't want to accidently ruin them.
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Interesting one. I started to write my comment then realised I had a fairly lengthy opinion on matters, lol. So I made a post about it on my blog. Thanks for opening up the discussion!
http://silver-thistles.blogspo.....at-is.html
Personally, I don't 'lend'. I just 'give'.
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I lent a book to a buddy, I had not even read it and she *sobs* Some kind of fruit got smashed all over it
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Not only am I a total bookworm, but I'm a librarian. So lending books is written in my DNA. And it saddens me how cavalier some people are about books, especially paper backs. "Oh, it's just a paperback." GRRR! Once I loaned a hard back first edition to the girl friend of my husband's best friend. She kept it for over a year and it came back with serious water damage and a broken spine. She never even apologized. But the worst insult was during our last military move. Several book spines were broken and the books damaged because the movers just shoved books any old way into the boxes. Many boxes had too many books in them. Several first additions were ruined, some of them signed. We are still fighting to get that claim settled. The movers don't want to pay to replace the books (not that the signed ones can be replaced.)
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Oh my! I thought I was the only one with this problem!! Okay so despite the crease down the spine of the paperbacks, I hate the slightly curled corners of the cover of the books when people read them. I used to let my sister read it because I figured….She's 13, and reading is fundamental. So maybe since she looks up to me, she'll be happy that she's reading the same thing as me. That worked out for a bit, until my beloved book met the monster that is her backpack. Pencils, pens, shoes, scissors all bouncing around with my book. Then supposedly "My friend wanted to read the back to see what it was about so I slid it to her." "Er, what did you slide it across, concrete?" "Well, yea, we were sitting down outside and I didnt want to get up." I got it back and literally screamed and cried at her. The book looked like a horribly abused child. I vowed never to let her borrow one of my books again. Instead I'll just buy a duplicate to give to her.
Since then I have let her borrow one, and she promised to keep it in top shape. She did and I may reconsider my previous vow. Nonetheless, I try to avoid letting anyone borrow my books.
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I only loan my books to a few people: my Mom, my sister, my best friend Ais and my fiancee. They are very careful with books and I appreciate it.
The worst thing that happened to a book was actually done be ME. *sniff sniff* It was an ARC of a book that in the end wasn't my favourite anyway (thank goodness), but I had it sitting on the table and I knocked it over and when it landed it opened the cover to the book and landed with a thud, causing the cover to bend and it has this terrible crease up the front of it now. I was planning to do a giveaway for the ARC copy, but not anymore – I can't bring myself to give a book that has cover damage. *sigh*
Oh and I HATE when spines are creased on books. LOL
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I wish that I had that problem to worry about but I don't know many people who read:( The one book that I lent to a book club friend came back perfect…she barely read it b/c she was afraid to damage it!!
♥ Melissa @ Melissa's Eclectic Bookshelf
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I am the same as you, although my husband would call me 'anal' about my books. I lent out a few in the past, but I got lucky and the readers took very good care of them. My kids are only allowed to read and 'pretend to read' (my lil girl) certain ones; not only b/c of the content inside, but b/c they're kids and I know something is bound to happen. But my attention to those books is something my kids are now doing with their own. And for that, I'm very happy.
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I don't really know a lot of bookworms like me in person…although my daughters are in the making of becoming one. I've only lent my books out to my mom and although no damage to the books she keeps them for months and months which really annoys me.
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Once I finished reading books I normally give them away. That way I don't need to worry about their condition (or running after the people who lend them from me because I finally want the book back).
If it's one of the rare books I want to keep and a friend wants to borrow it I stress the point that they really should treat the book carefully.
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Aside from the non return? I guess the usual mishaps like you mentioned are the worse I've ever encountered.
*Still narked at loaning her only copy of the anthology containing the story 'Monkey's Paw' and not getting it back:( *
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Book Abuse! That's what I call it. I no longer lend out my books because of this. Which is sad, because I WANT to share them!
I leant out my copy of The Hunger Games and when I asked for it back she said she had let another friend borrow it. Finally got a hold of that friend and she said she leant it to someone else! HELLO?!?! It wasn't yours to lend out!! It was a hardcopy, and it came back looking as though it had been through book abuse. My sister inscribed the front for me so I refuse to get rid of it, but it just looks awful. I hate that.
I've had others never return books and the ones I lend out coming back looking as though they have been thrown around, not exactly read and cherished.
So, I no longer lend. Great topic!!
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So far I've only loaned out books to a couple of my sisters but even then I worry about how I'll get them back. Especially since one of them has two teenaged boys. But I've not had any of them return damaged. However, when it comes to hardback books I always remove the covers before lending them out.
Also, the one time that someone let me borrow one of their books, I made sure to be careful with it.
Pam
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I'm just happy when I get them back at all.
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Great discussion! I no longer lend out any book that I'm not willing to lose, because I rarely get them back. Learned that lesson the hard way when I finally asked for a book back, only to find out that they had given it away and couldn't remember who had it now. Hello? Wasn't your book to give away! grrrrr
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I don't lend out books anymore except to very select people. I once let a friend's bandmate (and my crush at the time, haha) borrow a book about Auschwitz, because he also enjoyed reading history.
They came back from tour, and my beautiful hardcover? I never did see it again. Apparently it got run through the mill quite a bit while they were on the road. =/
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I am really careful about who I lend books to. I will only release them to friends and family I know I can trust to return them promptly and in reasonable condition.
My worst experience was when I let my husband take one of my books to read at his work. In his haste, he put it on top of his locker rather than inside it when his lunch break ended and when he went to get it later it was gone! He asked around, put up a notice, but no one ever returned it. The book was out of print and I had to make do with a slightly damaged second hand copy as a replacement.
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I also had trouble when I moved from UK to Australia and the removal company managed to damage some of my books in transit. They had been fine when they left UK, but for some reason they unpacked and repacked some (I assume at customs) and several were thrown back in and bent, damaged etc. Several pewter figurines were also not packed correctly and broke along with some other items. Luckily the insurance I'd taken out paid up and I was able to replace things.
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I'm so glad it's not just me! You've all mentioned a very important annoyance that I forgot to include. People who do not give books back! So annoying, especially it's one from a series you've been collecting too. Interesting how many of you just don't lend books anymore and I totally understand why. I love the idea of @Carmen 's mum who has a book of all the people she has lent her books to!
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I don't really borrow my books to anyone, and here's all the reasons. Though same goes with my dvds and clothes! I borrow books to three people, max. And they're family, so I can strangle them if they harm my books
Monaliz @ Mind Reading?
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